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Even Keel

from Memory Lottery by Jon Atkins

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lyrics

So it’s even keel for the boats we are now rowing,
I see the open sail for the land with the joyous glowing,
It came a little late and the signs got a little blurry,
The fear of what I want floating away without me.
Am I just like you or do I need to be tied to the winter?
Are my horses dead or do they need to be put down and put to sleep?
Am I just like you or do I still grow tired in the summer?
To me the sunlight said it would be best if you quit and were laid to rest.
It was a neutral day with the mask I had been wielding,
Could it be my fate with the love that you had been faking?
Through a silvery gate and beneath the bridges of patience,
My heart is on a plate while yours is in a cage of resistance.
Am I just like you or do I need to be tied to the winter?
Are my horses dead or do they need to be put down and put to sleep?
Am I just like you or do I still grow tired in the summer?
To me the sunlight said it would be best if you quit and were laid to rest.
A little love by night, a little love by day,
I’m not getting my hopes up to carry you away.
That’d be a big mistake.
Mother, your motherhood, your boy is down and he’s not breathing,
Father, your fatherhood, your eyes don’t speak, your mouth’s not moving,
How is it understood that life is fair? That’s nothing like it,
How am I understood if I don’t scream when I stay quiet?
Now I am letting out that I grow weary. I grow weary.

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from Memory Lottery, released December 6, 2013

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Jon Atkins San Diego, California

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