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Before the Bough Breaks

by Jon Atkins

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1.
A Tired Song 04:33
All I need is a job, I thought, while sitting in dust and collecting rocks, All I need is a job, I said, one that doesn’t require me to get out of bed, All I had was enough, before all this stuff. All I had was enough, when all I had was love, I disappeared in May, and lay, in the blanket mud of the riverbank, I got hired in June, and soon, there was little reason for me to visit you, It’s in your cup, it’s in your cup, you are in your cup, If you can run that fast then be my guest but the times aren’t going to show it, If you talk that fast then let ‘er rip but the cop’s not going to like it, You notice a frame like mine moving through the room, you had heard I didn’t make it, You can report my mind frame back at home but the folks there aren’t going to believe it, Because there are things that I have done, I’m not so proud of. All I had was enough, before this stuff. All I had was enough, when all I had was love, All I need is a job, to forgive my debt and arrest my fear, So was hired a cross, then came the series of events that got me here, It’s in my cup, it’s in my cup, it always was, in my cup, I have been in my cup, If you can run that fast then be my guest but the times aren’t going to show it, If you talk that fast then let ‘er rip but the cop’s not going to like it, You notice a frame like mine moving through the room, you had heard I didn’t make it, You can report my mind frame back at home but the folks there aren’t going to believe it, Because there are things that I have done, no one is proud of, There is a way in which I lived, contagious with that sin, I never thought that I would see the daylight from, a coffin I had built, but you nailed shut, I never thought that there could be a daylight love, a common resurrection for our tired songs, Because sailing for Gomorrah has is mourning notes.
2.
Ambition 04:12
A feeling of change races up behind my face, all I know is moving out of place, and I begin to shake, All on my own I exit the nesting zone, unannounced it just drops off, and I begin to fall, And the plane won’t wait for us, it’s ambitious, And the stage coach turns to dust, it’s ambitious, our ambition, Talented girl, you were born into a hungry world, keep your calm it will not be long, until they have you lost, Now Evelyn saves her Saturday nights on blades, someone suggests we pray for her, so I kneel and pray, That sound might reignite a holy fire and so inspire a hand to scribe some ambitious lines, That love might realign our crooked world of boys and girls and keep the cold, And hold them close, for they might know, That the plane won’t wait for us, it’s ambitious, And the stage coach turns to dust, it’s ambitious, oh our ambitions, Intelligent man, tell me what you understand, is black a color or just a shade thereof, or are you putting on, Beautiful girl, please teach me of your golden curls, do they glimmer like a gift from god, or did you paint them on?
3.
Siren Hill 03:32
Seventeen years ago I drew a picture of a home, I feel the window pane, I put the door in its wooden frame, I must have missed the scene, the pair that came before look just like me, Wall-covers slip away, falls out in striptease in this place, Counted them ten and five, but there’s only fourteen steps tonight, I must have missed the first, the truth of how to find my place of birth, Is staring us dead in the eyes, It’s staring us dead in the eyes The choice here is this or that, neither and both cannot take back, I could not stand still so I took the top of siren hill, I don’t remember much, for all the damage I have done to us, Any day now he’ll come walking out, Over the tops of us, halleluiah, Any day now I will start speaking out, Of the ends of us, halleluiah, It’s staring us dead in the eyes, It’s staring us dead in the eyes, Seventeen years ago I drew a picture of a home, I could not stand still, I drew the top of siren hill.
4.
Misery 02:38
I laid down my guns for you and set the clips on the desk, I disarmed my home for you and let the kids take a rest, There is no good excuse for how I choose to behave here, No one gives a damn to lend a hand to self-indulgence, I took pride in misery, her vague appeal appealed to me, I got tired of no sleep, that’s when the air replied to me, It said, terrible thoughts are going to curse this town, Until the deed is done, my loveless son, There is no good excuse for how I choose to behave here, No one gives a damn to lend a hand to self-indulgence, I walk down these streets again in secret hopes to meet some friends, Because I laid down my guns for you and in return you set me loose.
5.
Death Song 04:26
Walking the edge of an incredible lake, The hidden depths hold big mistakes, The mind is a mess and the flesh can relate, What comes as a gift is taken away, Call it the condition of man with a thorn in his side, Call it the cost of muse, I’ve got nothing to write if I’ve got nothing to hide, So here is the end of an impossible test, The bleeding stops when the heart is at rest, And into the ground with what was kept so close, And then from there only God knows, How could you know death if you can’t accept it, Maybe an accident, or maybe just a trial of mine, I’ve got nothing to write if I’ve got nothing to hide, When the fog lifts and my eyes are open wide, I can see the end with the beginning still in sight, Like blind mice, my brothers are in denial, And their sad tramps, my sisters have no smile, Because they wait and they wait, They count up the days to no avail, I give and I get, Forgiveness forgets, Where it came from, Origination, Call it the condition of man with a thorn in his side, Maybe just a trial of mine, I’ve got nothing to write if I’ve got nothing to hide.
6.
Rest Assured 02:23
Rest assured you will find me resting beneath the leaves of the park, Humming the notes to a tune we listened to before in the very same spot, With rays of light, Down from the shade comes a blue bird baby girl, a relic of her mother’s life, She glances at me between fits of feathers and sings of her very first flight, While rays of light go by And showed us how to ask And cleansed our folded hands at last, Talks at the train stop, the loss of a loved one gave birth to a god in her life, But push came to shove when he took another one, drunk and tired she retires, So I recall a certain incident when I inquired the sky, Do I live by mere coincident, animal or divine? And rays of light went by.

about

After two years of nothingness, my dear friend Pat invited me to live at his home and he let me borrow his guitar. In February of 2010 I began to do what I love once again. The creative drought had ended. These are the first songs I wrote. They're shaky and unsure, but you can hear a potential boldness in some of them. As much as I need to carry on with what I am currently working on, it is important to slow down enough to remember my history. Keeps me balanced.

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released July 3, 2010

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Jon Atkins San Diego, California

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